Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Wow. Just wow.

I spent a lot of time writing the blog before this one. A lot of thought went into it. I'm not real sure what happene,d or what "clicked" in my mind, but when I finished with it, I suddenly knew. After 30 years of overeating and the past 15 trying to figure out WHY I eat like I do, I know. I have gone back in my mind more times than I can count trying to figure out if there was something that happened in my past that caused me to form these behaviors, and have never come up with anything. Today, though, it's like a door opened and there it was. And I realize now that it has affected every aspect of my life, from how and why I eat, to why I don't have close friends, to even why I don't like making telephone calls. There is very little in my life that I can't trace back, in some way, to this reason. I'm not going to go any further into it here, because I still have a lot to sort through in my mind, but I am just shocked that it's been there all along, right under the surface, and just broke through today.

Hmm...now that I am realizing my reasons, though, what do I do with it?

2 comments:

  1. When you formulate that conclusion PLEASE shsre. You're reading my mail! When I read the part about no close friends and dislike of telephone calls my jaw dropped. I don't know how many times people have given me their number with the request to call and I never do.

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  2. I can relate. I've had that moment where things start to clarify and the need to sort through things is a must. Now I feel like a completely different person. What do you do with it? You slowly change your lifestyle around your new discovery. I'm still having a little trouble with that one. It takes awhile, though. And although you now have that clarity, you'll still have some days ahead where that reason will be right in your face, like you described, and other days it will seem like crap. Sending power and love to you!

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