Sunday, July 3, 2011

Rethinking Weight Loss

For years, I have always said that I was focusing on small goals instead of the huge, seemingly unattainable "goal" weight. I think, however, while I was saying my goal was to "lose 10 pounds", in the back of my mind I was still thinking "yeah, but what's 10 pounds when you have over 100 to lose?!"

I think, though, that I am slowly getting to where my mind is where it should be. I have complained lately that I have been stuck where I am for months...instead of thinking of that as a bad thing, I need to see that as a great thing ~ I have MAINTAINED A 40 POUND WEIGHT LOSS FOR A YEAR!! Have I lost much beyond that? Nope. But that's cause I haven't been working out or watching what I eat.

Two years ago, my only goal was to get below the weight I was when I stopped Thrive. That was about 35 pounds from where I started. I got there and passed it and am not maintaining about 6 pounds below that goal. I can tell that my body has grown comfortable at this weight, too, because I can no longer tell that I've lost weight, LOL...(did that make sense?!) Once I lost the 40 pounds, I could tell I had lost a little...but now I just feel fat again. I think that means it's time to go on to the next goal.

So I am going to type it here...it's not something I particularly want everyone to know, but I've not been one to avoid writing things here because I am embarrassed.

My next goal is:

GET BELOW 200 POUNDS!!

For a lot of people, just the thought of being above 200 pounds is unfathomable...for me, though, it's just been a fact of life. The last time I saw a weight starting with a "1" was in 2002, when my weight was on its way back UP from my stint with WW.

I weighed yesterday and weighed 215 pounds. That means I have to lose 16 pounds to get to a HUGE milestone goal for me. I am now realizing that once I get into the 190's, it's fine to stay there! I don't have to be thinking of losing the next 10 pounds or getting into the 180's...I can maintain the 190's for months if I want to. The 190's don't have to be a stepping stone to another goal if I don't want them to be...for now, it is just my goal. If I never get out of the 190's, I'll still be happy, because I won't be 256 ~ or even 215 ~ anymore.

I think that losing slowly has worked really well for me. It would be awesome to lose like they do on "Biggest Loser" and drop 100 pounds in 2 months, but I just know that is not something I could maintain. If I were to lose quickly, my body would not have time to learn what it needs to eat to stay there, and I would just gain as soon as I got out of "loss" mode. It's a lot easier to learn how to maintain every 15 pounds or so than to drop 100 pounds and have to figure out how to maintain a difference like that.

My starting weight was 256 pounds. I remember the day I stepped on the scale and saw that...my mind went straight to "I am closer to 300 pounds than 200 pounds. Oh my God, how did that happen?" And now, 2 years and 41 pounds later, I realize that since that day I have been working toward getting the weight off. And I'm doing it. It has taken me this long to realize it, and even now it is a shock to me...it's not coming off quickly, but it's coming off. I AM LOSING WEIGHT!

So here are my numbers:

Beginning weight: 256
Thrive ending weight: 221
Current weight: 215
Goal weight: 199

When will I get to that 199 goal? I'm not going to put a time limit on it, but I would like to be there by October, when we go to the beach. That would allow me to maintain over the holidays, which sounds good to me. :)