Friday, December 3, 2010

I have a confession to make. After hitting the YMCA 5 days a week for 3 months, I haven't been in 2 weeks. I know, I know...sorry, huh?

It's killing me though!

I have reasons, and some will say that there are no acceptable excuses, but I don't see how I could have done differently this time. My entire household came down with pink eye ~ including me! This is so contagious, and so miserable...and there's no way to Zumba while wearing glasses! I would either fog them up with sweat or break an arm or leg trying to keep up with people I can't see.

Why is it, though, that when you aren't able to work out, your mind gives you the OK to eat crap?! Common sense would tell you that if you aren't working out, you need to be even more careful with your food. It don't work that way though!

Now I have gained back a few pounds and my Christmas goal is looking soo far away! I am getting very concerneed I can't hit it...I was right on track, then sickness hit us, and I'm drifting again.

Can't wait to get to Zumba next week...I have missed it soo much! Wonder how much work it'll take to get to that Christmas goal?! :)

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

My goals.

OK, since I posted here this week and hope to keep posting regularly, I want to put my goals here.

My goal by Christmas is to be down 14 more pounds ~ for a total of 45.



Christmas Goal Progress

My goal is to be down 57 pounds by Valentine's Day ~ that's 26 to go!


Valentine's Goal Progress

I have lost 6 pounds in the last 3 weeks, which is a great rate of loss, especially considering the fact that I am not on a "diet plan"...just watching portions and adding lots of exercise.

Til next week. :)

Sunday, October 10, 2010

I'm still around! :)

I knew it had been a while since I updated my blog, but didn't realize how long til someone asked me whether or not I did the 5k in Cave Spring back in JUNE, LOL! (Thanks Barb! haha)

So no, I did not do the 5k. My best friend got married that day and I was honored to stand beside her. Priorities, ya know. :)

I am happy to report, though, that I am doing better than I have in a long time. Instead of jumping from WW to Thrive and various other things, I tried something new. It's really a genius idea and I don't know why I didn't think of it earlier ~ I started EXERCISING! *gasp* Seriously, for the first time in my entire life (I was going to say my ADULT life, but no, it's my entire life), I am exercising regularly! I joined the YMCA about 2 years ago, but never went. It took a while for me to realize that just cause the cash is coming out of the paycheck, it doesn't mean the fat is coming off the booty, ya know? LOL...

It took sooo much for me to get up the nerve to show up to work out, but my mother decided to join as well, and she helped me walk up the steps the first day to my first Zumba class. Boy oh boy it kicked my butt! I am always self conscious, cause I am usually the biggest person in any given place, but this class was so fast paced that I didn't have time to worry that other people were looking at me ~ they didn't have time to! It wasn't til after class that I realized that I was not, in fact, the biggest person, and then I realized that it didn't matter at all!

That Zumba class led to a Movin and Groovin dance/aerobic class on another morning, which then led to doing weights on Tue and Thur and treadmill on Wednesday. So yes, I am going to the Y 5 mornings a week. My Mon and Fri classes generate about 6000 steps, and I am doing about 3.3 miles on the treadmill on Wednesday (the approximate equivalent to a 5k). And I've never felt better...physically or mentally.

The first month or so, I was gaining on my scale every week. After a month, though, I suddenly dropped 4.6 pounds. My fingers are crossed for my WI on Wednesday...if my scale goes like it is right now, I will weigh the lightest I have weighed since the week I stopped doing Thrive.

Food wise, I am just watching my portions and trying to eat more sensibly. I am cutting out NOTHING, and I even have junk food in the house. I have had the same sweets in the cabinet for over two months, and I haven't even been tempted by then. Occasionally I'll have something sweet, but it's in moderation, which is a new concept for me. :) I've figured out that once you work out and burn a ton of calories, the last thing you want to do is go home from the gym and gorge yourself and completely un-do what you just did!

So...as of my last weigh in, I am actually 30 pounds down from my highest weight, which was what I weighed the last time I joined WW about a year and a half ago. I'm super proud of that! I have 5 pounds to go to be at my lowest since I had my daughter nearly 4 years ago. (Yes, since I had her ~ my body is crazy and loses weight when I'm pregnant.)

I am finally where I am satisfied. Am I still fat? Well, yes. But I am starting to see "pieces" of what I can be. I'll take a self portrait with my cell phone and see the hint of an actual shape to my face instead of just fat...or I'll catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I'm heading to the Y and realize that my thighs aren't as big as they were...and just recently I went to pick something up and saw my muscle move in my arm...a muscle that I would have been hard pressed to show you even existed a few short weeks ago.

I guess I'm just a work in progress...it's slow progress, but I guess that's the kind you learn the most from.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Amazing Giveaway!

Check out this great blog I just discovered tonight:

http://kyokocake.blogspot.com

Not only is it a great blog to start following but they are having an amazing giveaway right now too! You can register to win a BodyBugg and 6 months monitoring service! OMG! What an amazing prize ~ probably the best one I've seen offered on a blog thus far. For a lot of people this would not be a big deal, but to a fat chick it's the opportunity of a lifetime!

What is a Bodybugg you might ask? Check it out here for detailed info:

http://www.24hourfitness.com/training/bodybugg/

I saw them for the first time a few seasons ago on Biggest Loser and was intrigued. Then when I saw Ali (first female Biggest Loser) speak, she mentioned how much she loved her BodyBugg and I looked into it more...and now we have the chance to win one!

So check out this great blog and awesome giveaway, and if one of my readers enters and wins, you gotta come back and tell me all about it!

http://kyokocake.blogspot.com/2010/08/bodybugg-giveaway.html

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Once again, please check out this amazing woman and her great blog:

http://www.superhotchicaintraining.com/

She is having a great giveaway!

And I have to thank her for giving me a reason to come back here and post...it's been a while. I just haven't had anything to say.

What have I accomplished the last few months?

*lost 8 pounds (and counting)
*started walking some, getting ready for my 5K (but not nearly enough)
*started moving a lot more during my day. There were days before I doubt I got 500 steps...I get much, much more than that now!

The 5K is in a month, and I just have to get my big behind out there and start moving! I am going to go back and read my "100 reasons to lose 100 pounds" again, just to remind me why I'm doing this. (and to convince me that it's not just to torture myself!)

Monday, April 19, 2010

Check this out!

I spend a lot of time on Facebook, and ran upon this great page! It's called "Super Hot Chica in Training"...she has a lot of great information on her page and also has a blog here on blogspot. She is doing a giveaway of a book too...here's a link:

http://superhotchicaintraining.blogspot.com/2010/04/this-is-why-youre-fat-book-giveaway.htm

Be sure and check out her FB page and her blog...not to mention her giveaway!!!

Monday, April 5, 2010

Wow, it's been a while since I updated here! We have moved and I am still trying to get things in order. It's an old house that needs a ton of work, though, so it'll be a while! (a loooong while, LOL!)

As for me, I'm holding my own. :) I have started walking every morning at 6am with my parents...we are doing about 3 miles in an hour. Not a great pace, however it is the same pace that I did my 5k in last June (and it's enough to nearly kill this fat girl, LOL!) Since I'm starting out at this pace now, I have high hopes that I can cut my 15 minutes off that time this year. It's what I'm working toward.

We are also working on changing out eating habits in our house. My hubby has been diagnosed with diverticulitis, and unless we change things, it's only going to get worse. Worse case scenario, he could end up having to have a colostomy bag...so we are going to do everything we can to prevent this from happening! We are adding lots more high fiber fruits and veggies...but unfortunately that also means no more white flour. Wheat pasta instead of white...brown rice instead of white...chicken instead of red meat...double fiber wheat bread for him and whitewheat for me and the kids...and no baking. :( This is where the problem will come in, because baking is my hobby...it makes me happy...but I can't do it anymore. It's like I told my 10 year old though...it's not a diet, we are just modifying things. We will still eat out, and when we do, he can get all the white pasta and rice he wants, lol! Meals in our house will be much healthier though. I'm figuring (hoping?!) that the weight will come off quickly when we make these changes. It's not a lot of changes, but it's changing the major parts of our diets, so it should make a big difference.

My current short term goal is one that is definitely a challenge...I want to be down 30 pounds by June 12th! One of my best friends is getting married then and I am a bridesmaid in her wedding...as of right now, I am the fattest person in the wedding. :( My friend had gastric bypass last year and has lost well over 100 pounds, and everyone else is normal size. There is no way around being the fattest one, but at least maybe I can get enough weight off that you can tell it and I won't be *quite* as fat as I am now. Luckily we get to pick our own dress and it's going to be black...that helps, LOL!

Enough for now...I have to go corral all of the Easter candy and get it put up. I have a feeling that the boys have it hidden all over their bedrooms, so it could take a while. If I dont' do it now, then they will eat it all after school today, and there is a LOT of candy...ya know, you'd think with it being an Easter BUNNY, s/he would bring carrots and lettuce instead of chocolate and jelly beans. ;)

It's a beautiful, glorious day in NW GA...enjoy it!

Monday, March 22, 2010

New Blog

Because this blog is primarily for weight loss, I have started a new blog in which to discuss every day life. Please check it out!

www.thechickenlife.blogspot.com

Also, if you need a chuckle, be sure and check out my sister's blog. She is a hoot!

www.deathmetalmommy.blogspot.com

Become a follower!!!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Wow. Just wow.

I spent a lot of time writing the blog before this one. A lot of thought went into it. I'm not real sure what happene,d or what "clicked" in my mind, but when I finished with it, I suddenly knew. After 30 years of overeating and the past 15 trying to figure out WHY I eat like I do, I know. I have gone back in my mind more times than I can count trying to figure out if there was something that happened in my past that caused me to form these behaviors, and have never come up with anything. Today, though, it's like a door opened and there it was. And I realize now that it has affected every aspect of my life, from how and why I eat, to why I don't have close friends, to even why I don't like making telephone calls. There is very little in my life that I can't trace back, in some way, to this reason. I'm not going to go any further into it here, because I still have a lot to sort through in my mind, but I am just shocked that it's been there all along, right under the surface, and just broke through today.

Hmm...now that I am realizing my reasons, though, what do I do with it?

Compulsive Overeating

***Just a warning...if you are here for upbeat, "I'm doing great" stuff, then I recommend going elsewhere, LOL! If you want serious, introspective "why" type writing, then keep reading.***

I have not been posting for a while because, once again, the old motivation is gone and has been replaced by the compulsive eating. I'm not down or depressed over it, though, I am frustrated and want to figure out why I do it! This is a hard blog to write...cause I know that people will read it. People I know will read it. The only reason I am actually putting it out there is that I am thinking that there are a lot of people like me...people who were a normal weight once, yet who have never had a healthy relationship with food, who have gained large amounts of weight over the years, and who yo-yo up and down 5 or 10 or 50 or even 100 pounds and want to know why...why they are fat, why they can't stick to a healthy way of eating and why they just can't be "normal."

The majority of my family is thin...not skinny thin, but healthy thin. And I always feel like I'm not as good as they are when we are all together. (I even shake my head when I re-read that...how crazy!) Like they are judging me on how I look. Are they? I have no idea, probably not. But in my mind, they see me and are disgusted...they wonder how on earth I can live with myself looking like this...they think I have no self control. I feel like when we talk that they only look at my chins and my fat and not in my eyes...in retrospect, I know that this is not the case, but in my mind, this is what is going on. After reading this, I would assume that the things I imagine my family thinking about me are actually things that I think about myself, but won't admit it, even TO myself. I think these thoughts keep me from giving more of myself to my family, and they also keep me from trying to find good friends. I fear people judging me on the outside and not bothering to know the inside. Or maybe I'm afraid they won't like the inside too...I don't know. I have plenty of "surface" friends, those I talk to on FB or see at my kids' schools or pass at the mall...but I have VERY few that I feel comfortable showing "me" to.

At this website www.mirror-mirror.org/compulsive.htm, I found the following information.


Compulsive overeating is characterized by uncontrollable eating and consequent weight gain. Compulsive overeaters use food as a way to cope with stress, emotional conflicts and daily problems. The food can block out feelings and emotions. Compulsive overeaters usually feel out of control and are aware their eating patterns are abnormal. Like bulimics, compulsive overeaters do recognize they have a problem.

Compulsive overeating usually starts in early childhood when eating patterns are formed. Most people who become compulsive eaters are people who never learned the proper way to deal with stressful situations and used food instead as a way of coping. Fat can also serve as a protective function for them, especially in people that have been victims of sexual abuse. They sometimes feel that being overweight will keep others at a distance and make them less attractive. Unlike anorexia and bulimia, there is a high proportion of male overeaters.

The more weight that is gained, the harder they try to diet and dieting is usually what leads to the next binge, which can be followed by feelings of powerlessness, guilt, shame and failure. Dieting and bingeing can go on forever if the emotional reasons for the bingeing is not dealt with.

In today's society, compulsive overeating is not yet taken seriously enough. Instead of being treated for the serious problem they have, they are instead directed to diet centers and health spas. Like anorexia and bulimia, compulsive overeating is a serious problem and can result in death. With the proper treatment, which should include therapy, medical and nutritional counseling, it can be overcome.

Signs and Symptoms

*Binge eating
*Fear of not being able to stop eating voluntarily
*Depression
*Self-deprecating thoughts following binges
*Withdrawing from activities because of embarrassment about weight
*Going on many different diets
*Eating little in public, while maintaining a high weight
*Believing they will be a better person when thin
*Feelings about self based on weight
*Social and professional failures attributed to weight
*Feeling tormented by eating habits
*Weight is focus of life


I have always read/heard that if you are overweight, there is a reason. You just have to dig deep to figure it out. Well, I've always disagreed loudly with that, swearing that I'm obese because I just love food. While that is (obviously) true, I'm starting to believe that there is more to it. If it were just food, then I should be able to work through that and lose weight. It's not that easy for me, though. It's not like it's baby weight that I've got to get rid of, or even an extra 5 pounds that has crept on over the last few years...I have 120 pounds that needs to come off! You don't get that overweight without having some serious stuff going on in your head, whether you want to admit to it or not. I generally choose "not" and just stick to my "I just love food" excuse.

Without going into too much detail, I will just say that yes, I have almost, if not all, of the signs of symptoms of compulsive overeating. That is so difficult to realize, much less type! Being fat is the only thing it's still ok to make fun of...there are more "fat" jokes than there are "blonde" jokes...people will still poke each other and point out the fat people in the mall or at restaurants and not even try to hide it! We get dirty looks for just "being", even if we are minding our own business, playing with our kids or enjoying time with a spouse...apparently it's perfectly acceptable to treat a fat person badly. And here I am admitting that I AM FAT! (as if you didn't already know that) Have I experienced these things? Yes. I usually pretend not to notice them for fear of upsetting myself even further. And even now, after typing this, I am afraid that you, who are reading this, are judging me, even more so than before you started reading it. Not only am I just fat, but I'm also a compulsive overeater who may never figure out how to break out of it!

Anorexia and bulemia are recognized as eating disorders and everyone knows about them. Compulsive overeating is also an eating disorder ~ just not one that people know about or want to talk about. It's much easier to just assume that the fat people you meet are just lazy, nasty, unclean people with no self control who don't care how they look...that all they have to do is quit eating and they will get better. It's just not that easy though! If you are reading this and you don't suffer from this, then thank God. Seriously, stop what you are doing right now and thank God. I'm not saying that you don't have trials and problems, maybe even weight problems, of course you do, but this is a problem that there just is very little help for. Doctors treat anorexia and bulemia, but I've called a few of those who say they treat "eating disorders" and they don't treat compulsive overeating! It's that "taboo" disorder that maybe if no one treats it or talks about it, then it doesn't exist. I know better though...there are too many of us "morbidly obese" people out there for this to be a disorder that can be swept under the rug. There has to be SOMEONE who can help people like me!

I went to the website for Overeaters Anonymous, just to see what I could find out about it...unfortunately there is not a meeting here in Rome. That's kind of sad to me, because we have so many morbidly obese people in this area...I can't help but wonder if I were to start an OA group here, would any of these people want to help themselves and join? Or are they to the point that I am getting close to, where they think that this is just how it is...they are fat, they are laughed at, they aren't as good as other people, and they don't deserve help? It would be a lot of work, but if there are other people out there who feel like I do, then it might be worth it. I have to do something to work through whatever issues I have, cause if I don't help myself, no one is going to seek me out and do it for me.

I have a lot more I want to get deeper into, but this has to be it for now...I have a lot to think about.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

My 2nd Weigh In

Here is my updated ticker:





I lost 1.2 pounds this week. I should be thrilled, but I'm not. I was hoping for 2.2, so I could hit 10 pounds gone, but no, a measly 1.2. I know I shouldn't feel like this, but it's hard not to. To be as big as I am, still have 100 pounds to lose, and only in my 2nd week, I expected more, especially after a perfect week.

I know, I know...working for Thrive I was a cheerleader for those who had losses like this and were still disappointed. I know all the mantras of "any loss is a good loss!" and "it could have been worse!" and "wow, but that's over a pound!" But right now I don't really care, lol! I'm just irritated.

Bah, humbug. Grumble, grumble, grumble.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

My "Why"

Thrive wants you to dig deep and come up with your "Why"...why you want to lose weight. I am going to share here what I put in my journal about why I want to lose. It may be repetative from my 100 Reasons, but these are the ones that came to my mind.

~~
I am tired of seeing rolls of fat in the mirror. I want to feel good about all of me. I want to wear a bathing suit. I want to shop off the rack at a regular size store. I want to fit in all booths. I want to keep my kids from getting fat. I want my husband and kids to be proud of me. I want to see my grandkids. I want to live a long, happy, healthy life with Sam.
~~

Of course there are more than this, but this is what came to mind when I was writing. I have since, though, came up with something else that, as small a thing as it may seem, seems huge to me:

I want to know what my face looks like.

I know what I looked like as a child. I know what I looked like as a teenager. But I have been fat as long as I've been an adult. I see bits and pieces of myself...my eyes, my lips, my nose, but it is all surrounded by fat! I don't even know what my true face shape is without all the fat. I have always assumed (and been told) that I have a round face...but is it round without the fat? Who knows, I may have a completely different shaped face under all this! I like the pieces of my face that I am able to focus on, but I would so love to see what I look like, as a whole, minus the fat. I have always been told I have a "pretty" face...who knows, maybe I really do!

I am going to pull out some old pictures where my face isn't puffy fat and put them on the fridge ~ just to remind me of this goal!

Saturday, January 9, 2010

nothing important...

First of all, I realize I made a typo...I actually lost 7.8 pounds last week, not 7.6, LOL! But who's counting? ;)

Today is my Biggest Loser weigh in! As crazy as it sounds, I am scared to death I'm going to step on the scale and it's going to show I've lost nothing, even though I know I have! I would so love to be down even another pound, but I'm not counting on it! The BL competition is based on % of weight lost...this week, both me and my sister (Deathmetalmommy) lost 3% of our body weight. 3%!! That is a seriously measurable percentage of fat, GONE! Neither of us may win this competition, but we plan to give them a run for their money! :) I am so thankful that my friend invited me to join them in their competition...don't know if you read this or not, but thank you, TW! It is giving me so much motivation to keep going...and now that we made it through the first week, we only have what, 23 to go? LOL!

I am so determined to get this weight off! There is so many motivations for me right now, I would be crazy not to take advantage of it! In the next 6 months, I want to get 40 pounds off. To weigh as much as I do, this is very much a do-able goal...and I will be thrilled at anything above and beyond that!

So far, 2010 has helped me to take control of a lot of things that have spiraled out of control the past few years, from my weight to my house cleaning. I have always been an extraordinarily messy person. A packrat. Lazy. There are lots of names for it, and they are all me! I feel as if I should confess something here...though maybe "confess" is not the right word. Maybe "admit" is. After a lot of research and talking to my dr, I have been diagnosed with ADD. Getting on the correct medication for this has changed my life! I am able to pay attention to things, I am able to think about things before I do them, I am able to follow directions to do things...and this is what has helped me in getting my house in order. For the first time in the 11 1/2 years we have lived here, our 3rd bedroom is a 3rd bedroom and not a junkroom! My house is clean! It's like I am crawling out from under the rock I have lived under for so long and starting to live again!

2010 is going to be awesome!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

End of 1st week ~ WI #1

Drum roll please...

I lost...


7.6 POUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YAY ME!

I am beyond thrilled. Well on my way to my goal...I lost 3% of my body weight this week. That is freakin AWESOME!


Tuesday, January 5, 2010

100 Reasons to Lose 100 Pounds

I have posted this twice now, but I need to see it every so often to help keep me motivated...I hope it will help anyone who is reading this, who may also need motivation.

100 Reasons to Lose 100 Pounds

100. I want to know what I look like with only one chin.
99. To not have to worry about whether I will fit in a booth at a restaurant.
98. So that I don't embarrass my children. School is hard enough without having a fat mom.
97. To wear low waisted jeans.
96. To go jogging with my boys.
95. So I never have to step foot in Lane Bryant again.
94. So my daughter will want to look like me.
93. So I never have to hear "you have such a pretty face..." again.
92. So no one will recognize me at my next high school reunion.
91. To not be the token fat chick in any given situation.
90. Because I want to live to see my grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
89. So I never have to hear the term "morbidly obese" pertaining to myself.
88. So my clothes aren't so big they could double as a tent.
87. So I don't get diabetes.
86. I don't want to be the fattest person in my family anymore.
85. I want to buy clothes in a regular store.
84. I want to learn Victoria's Secret!
83. I want to like my outside as much as I like my inside.
82. So I will want to have my picture taken.
81. So people will want to take my picture.
80. To not worry if my shirt shows a bit of my stomach.
79. I want to feel good about myself when I look in the mirror.
78. I want a regular bath towel to wrap around me comfortably.
77. I want to put on sweats and look cute instead of like nothing else would fit.
76. I want to be able to walk more than a block without getting winded.
75. I want to fit more comfortably behind the steering wheel. My legs are short so I have to be pulled way up!
74. So I can fit behind the desks in my kids' classroom. (right, Christina? LOL!)
73. So I can comfortably paint my toe nails.
72. So I can wrestle with my sons and not worry about squishing them!
71. I want to be able to slide on the enclosed slides on playgrounds.
70. So I can turn cartwheels again.
69. To be able to cross my legs comfortably.
68. To swing in a swing at a playground without the sides digging into my legs.
67. To wear boots that will zip over my calves.
66. To get a haircut without worrying if it will make my face look even fatter.
65. To wear a bathing suit.
64. To be able to tie my shoes without propping my foot up on something.
63. To meet someone new without being wary that they are thinking how disgusting I am.
62. To have enough energy to keep up with my kids
61. Being able to ride a roller coaster without worrying if the bar will fit.
60. To run in a race.
59. To see the shock on peoples’ faces when they see me after losing weight.
58. Being able to keep up with other people.
57. No more stares from strangers (or random comments)
56. Feeling brave enough to speak in front of people.
55. Go to an indoor rock climbing wall and fit in the harness thingy they strap to you .
54. So I can tuck in a shirt.
53. I want to feel stronger.
52. To give my family a fighting chance of not having the same health problems as me.
51. To sleep better.
50. Being able to sit on my husbands lap.
49. Going for a run on a fall morning.
48. So I can wear a button up shirt without worrying about gaps.
47. So people won’t ask me when my baby is due.
46. Seat belts will fit properly.
45. Movie theater seats will be more comfortable.
44. To not feel like thin/healthy people are better than me.
43. So I can ride a bike again.
42. Feeling comfortable speaking to people with out having to think about what they think about me.
41. Not being so hard to move.
40. Not being called “heavy set” or “large”
39. So I can wear a sleeveless shirt.
38. So I don’t have to struggle to get up out of the floor.
37. To show my kids how to eat healthy.
36. To show my kids that playing outside is more fun than playing on the Xbox.
35. Being confident to go after things I really want in life.
34. To help my kids grow up never having to know what it feels like to be fat.
33. Learning to control my emotions rather than eat them.
32. To shop and cook healthier.
31. So my hubby’s clothes are soooo big there is no way I can wear them.
30. So I don’t sweat and look like I’ve been swimming just from walking to the mailbox.
29. So that the floor in my mothers hall doesn't creak so loudly when I walk down it.
28. So that when we eat at a restaurant, the server doesn't automatically look at me and say "and what are we having for dessert?"
27. I want to be able to get a massage without being self-conscious.
26. So I can get a pedicure or manicure without being afraid that the technicians are talking about how big I am in their native language.
25. So that I can become a lifetime WW member and not have to pay for meetings anymore!
24. To step on the scale in the doctors office and not see them move the bar over to "200" automatically.
23. To have the energy to keep my house clean instead of just sitting on the couch.
22. So that I can wear the same clothes from one winter season to the next winter season.
21. To get up from the floor without grunting and grabbing a hold of something to pull myself up.
20. To determine that I do, in fact, have collarbones in there somewhere.
19. So that the inside thighs of blue jeans don't wear out before the rest of the jeans.
18. To be able to talk about wanting to run a 5K and not have people look at me the way they currently do.
17. So that the gowns at the hospital and doctors office fit me...and I only have to wear one!
16. To finally wear shorts again.
15. So I can shop in Old Navy stores instead of just online, which is the only place to buy their "plus" sized clothes.
14. To no longer have multiple "X's" on my clothing tags.
13. To not weigh the same as a 6'5 offensive lineman.
12. So that I don't weigh more than the men in my family...and they are NOT small men.
11. To jump on my husbands back without fearing I will break it.
10. So I don't have to constantly hold my stomach in so it doesn't stick out quite as far over my pants.
9. I don't want to feel like my family talks about my weight when I'm not around.
8. To wear cute, sexy Halloween costumes...when you are fat, you can be a witch or a cow.
7. So that when I sit down I don't automatically cross my arms and rest them on my stomach.
6. To be able to stand up and look straight down to see my toes or the numbers on the scale.
5. I want to feel comfortable to join a class (aerobics, belly dancing, etc).
4. I want to have awesome "before" and "after" pictures.
3. I want to grow old with my husband.
2. I want to show other overweight people that you CAN lose the weight...if I can do it anyone can!
1. For once in my life, I want to be a HOT CHICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, January 4, 2010

New Me - Day 4!

So glad I pushed through the withdrawal symptoms! Got through the headaches, body aches and cravings and am feeling so good now! :) I am on day 4 of my "New Me" journey and have had 3 perfect days so far! I know, 3 days is nothing, but in my mind, it is a PERFECT year so far ~ and it don't get any better than that!

On Saturday, my sister (Deathmetalmommy ~ see her blog in a link to the right) and I went to the first weigh in for the "Biggest Loser" competition that we are joining. It is $25 per person, and lasts for 6 months. The first week of June, the person who has lost the largest percentage of weight (like they do on the BL show), will win the pot ~ which looks to be around $500! I talked to Sam about it and he agreed that if I can win it, we will take it and immediately turn around and book a cruise for 2 to the Bahamas. We have never cruised, nor have we ever been away from all 3 kids, so this is huge for us! This now has him excited about the competition too...he is all about working out and trying to help me any way he can. This is going to help so much!

My only slight temptation was this morning, when I got up and fixed a big breakfast for my hubby and our good friend who was visiting from Ohio...they were both heading out to work and it was 17 degrees, so they needed it, lol! I was tempted by my homemade biscuits...I can throw down some homemade biscuits, lol...but I chewed my sugar free gum, got through it, and sat down with them with my bottle of water and my own breakfast and just enjoyed the company ~ something I don't usually do when eating. It's usually about shoveling down the food and (embarrassing to admit) making sure that I got the amount of food I wanted.

Hopefully we will make it to the YMCA tonight to start 5k training. Oh, stepped on my scale this morning and look down about 5-6 pounds from the 1st. Yes, it's water, but it's water I wouldn't have lost had I not changed my way of eating ~ I would, no doubt, already be up another pound or two. That scale is moving the right direction, and I plan to keep it that way!

It's going to be a great day!

Day 2

(originally written on Jan 2nd)

Wow, what a difference a day makes!

Yesterday was day 1, I was motivated, energetic and feeling great! Got through the day with no problem, even got my water in, which is no small feat for me. Fast forward to today and I feel like I ran head first into a brick wall...literally! I forgot how hard sugar withdrawal hits me...it will feel like this for several days. I guess it could also be some caffeine withdrawal...so I'll have to find a diet mountain dew today. When I start having withdrawal symptoms in just 24 hours, it shows me how much sugar I was eating in the first place.

Today I get to go for our first weigh in of the Biggest Loser competition I was invited to join. It's a big group of local women who are committing to a 6 month competition. We are putting in $25 each and weighing in once a month...the one who has lost the biggest percentage of weight in June will win the pot. I am so excited about this...I think it will definitely help me out with staying motivated. Plus, the once a month weigh ins will show great losses, which will feel great, even though I will still have my regular weekly weigh-ins too.

I'm off to take some ibuprofen, get dressed, drink a bottle of water and get some clothes and maternity stuff put on ebay. Here's hoping for a great rest-of-the-day!