Monday, February 3, 2014

3 weeks down, the rest of my life to go!

Yes, we have finished three weeks of EFM.  Sort of.  I say sort of because we only went two days in week three because of snow, so those other days are being tacked on at the end, but that's all good.  And yes, expect this blog to be very wordy, because there's a lot to be said about the last 3 weeks.  :) 

I know I said I was going to update on a regular basis here on my blog, but honestly I haven't had the time.  It's been super stressful around here lately, though I guess that can be said for anyone, anywhere.

I'm sure you are curious as to whether my opinion of the EFM has changed.  Well, yes and no.  Is it still hard?  Oh hell yeah.  We still go from the minute we walk in the gym until the hour (and sometimes more) is over.  I still struggle with doing the bear crawl.  I must brag that just two short weeks after the terrible experience I described in my last blog entry, I completed 6 bear crawls, each the length of the one I struggled with so terribly.  It took me longer than everyone else in the gym, I struggled more with it than everyone else in the gym, but you know what?  I DID IT.  While I was doing it, I was feeling terrible, not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well, wondering why I couldn't do what everyone else seemed to find so easy.  I felt like the weak link of a chain that is getting stronger by the day.  But then you know what?  When my husband and Brian got down on all 4's on either side of me to finish my last one with me, and as my friends cheered for me as I finished with that last crawl,  I realized that I was thinking about it all wrong.  Yes, I struggle with bear crawl.  But you know what?  Sam struggles with hip thrusts while balancing his feet on a medicine ball.  And every single other person in that gym struggles with something too.  And when they are taking longer than the rest of us, or struggling to get their last few reps, I don't look at them with disdain and think how weak they are...I look at them with awe and respect and love and think of how freakin proud I am of them for pushing through and getting it done!  I cheer them on to finish what they are doing, and then celebrate with them when they are finished. 

The workouts are every bit as hard as they were the first day.  But as each day passes, we are all getting a little stronger.  We find ourselves smiling some during workouts.  Laughing, even.  And where the first week, as soon as we were done we all headed for our cars to recover, we have noticed that the recovery doesn't take as long, and we hang around and talk and discuss the evening.

The worst part of workouts (at least what I think of as the worst as I sit here in my warm chair cuddled up with my laptop, LOL), is the fact that they are being recorded.  Videoed.  Not even sure of the right word to use anymore!  Yes, we have a cameraman in our faces, recording every second of our misery.  Well, not every second, but several nights a week anyway.  I was scared to death to watch the video from the first week.  Because I knew he was in my face as I struggled with that bear crawl.  But I watched it.  And it made me cry.  And it made me mad.  And I wished I hadn't watched it.

Last night I watched the video from Week 2 and the one from Week 3.  And it made me sit back and really look at what I have accomplished the last few weeks.  The first week video made me ashamed and embarrassed...not only to be struggling so mightily, but to have gotten into the shape that I was in that made it necessary to be there on camera. The second and third videos were different though.  Was I still embarrassed?  Sure.  But I knew I would still be fat...that doesn't change in three weeks time.  And I still struggle every night with workouts.  That probably won't every change.  But I see the person in the newer videos differently.  I see a determination that wasn't there in the first video.  In the first video I looked lost, scared and uncertain.  In the newer videos, I look like I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be and that I know that and am fine with it.  And this is really how I feel.

I haven't mentioned much about my team, because I don't know that they would want me to go into much detail about them.  But I do want to say that they are the most amazing group of people that I have ever had the privilege of getting to know.  From watching previous seasons of EFM videos, I knew that we would become friends.  I had no idea just how close we would get, and how fast it would happen.  I truly love, admire and respect every single one of these people.  We are all so different, and yet we were brought together by the one thing that we all have in common ~ our weight/health.  And now we have two things in common...our weight/health and the fact that we are working our tails off to improve our weight/health! 

And I figure I will end by sharing how our first weigh in/body fat/measurements went.  In 3 weeks, I lost 10 pounds, 2.1% body fat and 16.75 inches!  Sam lost 21 pounds (OMG!), 1.2% body fat and 14.75 inches!  It's an amazing achievement, and while I can't yet see a difference in myself, the difference in Sam and in my teammates is astounding, and I am so excited to continue to see these changes in everyone.

And like my post title said...we have 3 weeks down, and the rest of our lives to go!!!